Saturday, June 14, 2014

A Reason to Like Spideys

I did an inspection in Knappa. The house had bugs that are bad. (carpenter ants). I did not see these bugs. This fact was difficult to hear. Without possessing the qualities of omniscience or omnipresence, gotta still strive to see all that can be seen.

Did another inspection in Knappa.  This house also had carpenter ants. (What is it with Knappa and bugs?) I found them this time. They were very sly, these ants. But the way I found them? Cause every vent hole in the foundation had spiders who had made their webs across the vent apertures. Probing, prying, searching. I never did find where these things had any nesting or even where they had done damage. But they were everywhere. Cause the spideys had nailed them. Including one particularly juicy looking black widow sitting there staring at me with its 30 eyes or whatever they stare with. 

I like them spideys cause they help to find the bad bugs. Just stay at arms length, little spideys. . .

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Academicians v. Coons: The Pretense Factor

While low crawling under this pretty ugly single wide in a local trailer park the other day, wondering what lurked in the pile of pulled-down insulation in the far corner that I had to go to to get the total picture, it struck me what it is that makes this occupation much different and even more appealing from those known in the past. The occasional raw, adrenaline pumping excitement. The wonder at what would be seen next, from cool (or appalling!) plumbing or construction or electrical or architecture or whatever. (Some homeowners are creative in what they build and how they do it.) The utter lack of political nonsense and incessant posturing for self recognition and advancement (at least when on site focusing on power outlets and rot and roofs, etc.) that is prevalent in many jobs and environments. And most of all. . . the utter lack of pretense. For pretense -- pretending or faking -- is a quality that I have come to despise very deeply. Pretense is intimately rooted and intertwined with the concept of ego, self. Put on the makeup or embellish the image and present oneself to others in the best possible light. Or, even in unrealistic, false light if the embellishment is thick enough. How many times have you seen a perfect picture on a business card and then see the real person and go, "whaaat?!"

As with many aging and aged persons, I am a bit of an early bird. Early to bed early to rise. I love getting on site with a vacant property soon after first light and quietly beginning the roof and exterior inspections. The other early morning an hour.5 after light I was under a deck looking at the structure when HUGE Mr. or Mrs. Coon came in to go to bed after a long night foraging.  The Cooninator did not see me until he was deep under the deck. I saw Mr. Coon and immediately did not like what I saw. (How many of you have been intimidated by coons? The deep, dark, murderous/hateful stare? The hissing. The charging? If so, then you know what real fear is!) Mr. Coon did not want to back off when I began shouting and beating the deck post with my "death pick bug & rot finder." In fact, Mr. Coon not only didn't want to leave but Mr. Coon was coming closer and "squaring up." (One litigant in a Judge Judy episode used the term squared up. Judge Judy did not know what it meant and needed Byrd to define it.) Squaring up: Mr. Coon obviously wanted to fight. After all, I was in Mr. Coon's home and he was tired and grumpy to see me in his hallway! 

The Death Pick Bug & Rot Finder (courtesy of L. Colvin of Chinook, WA!)

Now, even though the 'death pick bug/rot finder' is a tough tool that I suppose could be dangerous if used a certain way, I did not feel confident with it at all when Mr. Coon squared up. But YES! -- there was a better equalizer. I reached into my goody bag, unlatched the latch, and let Mr. Coon have a faceful of mace. Mr. Coon freaked out, and luckily ran the other way and out. I'll leave the bare-handed coon hunting antics in the hands of someone much more qualified and willing -- Kentucky's own Ernie Brown Jr. ( // If you haven't seen Ernie catch a snapping turtle or possum or coon or skunk (yes!) bare handed then you really haven't lived! Check the Animal Planet listings

I do not like coons. But there is one thing about a fat angry coon that I like infinitely more than the religious academics in a past life. Coons show no pretense. They do not fake. They are not out for self-advancement or promotion or showing themselves the smartest or most accomplished or most experienced or whatever the way preening humans often do. No, coons only want to live and to be left alone. If you encounter one, you will likely know right away exactly what it is thinking without any fakiness or such nonsense. Is this enviable? When found among humans? Yes, I suppose if the trait is mixed with kindness, compassion, and empathy.

Pretentious veneers are an inevitable part of the human condition. Maybe a product of the fall when sin entered the world. Is that not when A&E saw themselves as naked and felt a need to put on the coverings? But enough is enough. And enough was enough.

Truth. Honesty. Reality. Mixed with humility.